From the Mountain to the Valley, Surgery Day

And how blessed all those in whom you live,

whose lives become roads you travel;

They wind through lonesome valleys, come upon brooks,

 discover cool springs and pools brimming with rain!

God-traveled, these roads curve up the mountain, and

at the last turn—Zion! God in full view! 

(Psalm 84:5-7, The Message)

We turned left out of the driveway and descended more than 4000 feet over just a few miles. The sun was befriending the mountains and small streams of snowmelt followed us down. Madeline didn't want to leave; I don't think we did either. Like Peter at the transfiguration, "Lord, it is good for us to be here. If you wish, I will put up three shelters—one for you, one for Moses and one for Elijah.” I liked it better at the chalet; there were rooms there, one for us; one for Madeline; and one for our hosts. I get staying on the mountain. Peter was right - it is good to be here. 

We drove the switchbacks and began the drive back to Salt Lake City. Madeline asked to reflect on the trip using our family practice, "High, Low, Buffalo." We relished in the recollection. The snowshoeing, the feasting, the game-playing; the shopping; the sunrise; Kenzie and Dolly's bookstore; and so many moments. We wept with gratitude for the kindness of Jeff, Amy and Jack; they understood our needs and created a true mountain-top experience for each one of us. They were angels delivered from heaven for just this moment. It was difficult finding "low" stories, but I think the car ride down was emerging as the common "low." And the buffalo was a smattering of ridiculousness, including laughing at me for my full-on snowshoe bellyflop.

Halfway down the mountain we could see Salt Lake. My ears began popping and Lindsay quietly said, "It feels like the air is getting heavier with each mile." The comment was analogy as much as the science of altitude. 

We checked into the hotel and distracted ourselves with appetizers, chicken wings, and the Super Bowl. Madeline ordered Chipotle and savored each bite as her last until she recovers from the procedure. She drank several Shirley Temples without concern for red beverages the evening before surgery. We fell asleep as the Chiefs finished their comeback and won the Super Bowl. 

We woke up this morning to a flurry of overpacking as we prepared to leave for the hospital. We convinced Madeline to take one blanket and one stuffed animal with her, but to leave the oversized suitcase of plush comforts in the car until she has a recovery room. 

The surgery was moved an hour later, and the extra time gave Madeline (and her parents) space to move from our strength and bravery into our fear and sadness. The Child and Family Life Specialist (Amanda) came into the room, and her presence was helpful to us. But as the minutes went on, our fear and sadness grew. 

When the first two surgeries occurred last year, we knew there would be days, weeks, and months of recovery, but overall, she would have no restrictions to her movement. Today, she left for surgery and will emerge from the OR in a neck brace that will become a friend and foe for the next several months. When the first two surgeries occurred last year, we knew she would be delayed in returning to school, but as she entered the OR today, we know her next day in a school building will be the first day of high school. As she rolled down the hallway to the OR with Dr. Wood, the reality of the recovery found space in my thinking. Recovery will be different this time, but the long-term healing will outlive the short-term effects of missing school and wearing the brace. We said goodbye, and she entered the OR. 

I miss the mountain. Hopeful the valley holds the springs of the mountain snow today:

"Happy are those whose strength is in you,

in whose heart are the highways to Zion. 

As they go through the valley of Baca

they make it a place of springs;

 the early rain also covers it with pools. 

They go from strength to strength;

 the God of gods will be seen in Zion." 

Psalm 84:5-7, NRSV