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Showing posts from September, 2013

52 Weeks of Wandering, Grieving the Pastorate Part II

The most difficult part of departing the pastorate is the desire to find a new location for worship. I remember realizing this fear early on after announcing our resignation. Lindsay could see confusion and sadness in my face and asked, “what’s wrong?” My body had the same anxious-tinge from when she asked me that question following our departure from Excelsior Covenant Church. I said to her, “I don’t want to go through the misery of finding a new church and of a new church having to find out who we are.” Starting over has always been a juxtaposition of excitement and misery for me. But mostly, in this case, starting over with a new church (where we are not pastors) is full of fear – the idea of it feels miserable. I have always had empathy for newcomers to the church; the initial decision to begin or return to attending worship is one of deep fear for most. The fear is not only for the newcomer but equally so for the church-folks who receive them in worship. I m

Grieving the Pastorate

I am confessedly grieving over the vocational change from pastor and teacher/administrator to solely being a teacher/administrator at Western Theological Seminary. (I went through my fb statuses since June and recognize that friends and blog-readers have known this longer than even I). I do not regret the decision to leave the church or believe that I made a mistake, yet I do miss the fullness of life that occurred at the intersections of my former life. I enjoyed sharing life between WTS and Harbert Community Church last year. If WTS was too complicated, I had HCC to occupy my heart and mind. If HCC was too exhausting, I had the work at WTS to enliven me. Now I have just one job, one community, and no pastorate. I did not enjoy the cost of this life on my family. I have spent more time with my children in the last three months than I feel I did in the last four years. I thoroughly enjoy evenings and weekends uninterrupted with Lindsay and the children. But nonet