Week 2, Camino update

Week 2 photos

I write almost everyday, but the weekly update is simply a few snippets from the week’s writing. I am working from a small screen and a poor interface, so my typos may be more abundant than usual.

Day 8, Monday, July 30

Today was a wonderful day. Yesterday i went to the medical center regarding my oversized blister on my right heel. I was worried about an infection and wasnt’ sure what this would mean for my next few days. The medical professional’s initial look gave a gasp, and i was more concerned. Then they began to squeeze out the fluids, which hurt worse than i imagined. They kept pushing and as i groaned, the doctor and nurse laughed. I appreciated their playfulness in the moment. It’s just a blister after all. They cleaned it up and taught me how to take care of it. I now own a bottle of benzine and enormous bandaids.

I spent the afternoon quite restless, which i am realizing is a common practice. After i finish walking, what do i do? I am often too tired to read or to write, but i can feel my mind called to reflect on the day. So much passes through the heart and mind during the 6-10 hours of walking. I was originally going to bring my dictation recorder, and in some ways i wish i had, but in other ways, i am glad that what remains in my memory following the walk is what is gets recorded versus “random thoughts with kyle while walking....” Thats a good name for a podcast someday - “what to remember when walking”, which is a play on David Whytes, what to remember when waking. 

My pilgrim friends left today. I already miss them, they were young and brilliant. They were ambitious and driven in their work. They get married in two years, and i see great promise in them. They have a larger vision for the world, especially poor people and cities. I imagine they will do something significant. I hope we stay connected. 

After they left, i began walking toward my destination. When i am alone I often spend 5-10 minutes every few hours weeping out loud. I don’t often know why i am crying, but usually it occurs when I think of Lindsay, the kids, or close friends. When i thought about Asia and Andy today, I cried out loud. It feels so good to weep. It is love and sorrow trickling down. 

I arrived to Azofra today, and on my way into town, i tried Cohelo’s speed exercise. I mentioned this elsewhere, but the idea is to walk half as slow as normal for 20 minutes. I did this while listening to Wendell Kimbrough’s song, Isaiah 12. What an emotional 20 minutes. I sang so loud walking down the Camino. I cried so loud walking the Camino, and then as i ended the exercise, i rejoiced so loud walking the Camino. The solitude invites full expression. The enneagram 8 finds so much space to release all that i often hold in (i know it is hard to believe that i ever hold anything in, but i am constantly holding back....)

I feel so free today. I have met good friends and said goodbye. I have recollected good friends and rejoiced. I am beginning to wonder how to recollect unreconciled relationships or distant relationships or enemies (to borrow language from the psalms) and to move into gratitude for these friends (frenemies), also. This will take greater discipline because i am often shunning critical and ungenerous thinking. To do gratitude with enemies may mean a journey through uncharitable in order to find mercy. It is something to look forward to.

Day 9: Tuesday, july 31, 2018

“The way is magic”

The mom from Burgos said this as one her daughter’s ate her lunch, another played the piano in the restaurant, and the dad finished his ice cream bar. This family decided to use their vacation to walk the Camino. Her husband doesn’t speak English, nor should he, but he somewhat disdains my speaking in English, so i write what i want to say in Google Translate and then try to speak Spanish. 

Very few speak English on The Way. I appreciate this. I meet very few Americans. I partly think this is because we go too fast and don’t stop long enough to truly become a Camino pilgrim. If one of my mentors hadn’t sent me the message inviting me to slow down, i am not sure if i would have ever done so until it was too late. The entire point of my Camino is to slow down, and i suck at this. I want to blame it on being an American with a work ethic, but it is mostly because slowing down means facing many things i have long avoided. 

The Camino is magic. It truly is. It teaches us through sight and sound. It teaches through the body. The way is drenched in centuries of Christ-pouring himself into the dirt and dust that we might find him again. He will capture all of our thoughts, our feelings, and our bodies. Nothing escapes touch on the Camino. Nothing. At some point i want to write on the ubiquitous presence of Word on the Camino. It is everywhere. 

Today i woke up early at 5am and began dressing. The night was so cool that i woke up chilly and well rested. I donned my headlamp and began walking. I had three short legs of 7km each. The first town was organized around a golf course. The fellowship church guys came to mind as they golf on fridays. It was a bit surreal that a modern golf course emerges on the ancient pilgrimage. The best was the invitation for pilgrims to join the club for breakfast. I was tempted but passed. I pondered for a quick minute to play a few holes simply to say i did so.

I left the little town and continued to Santo Domingo. The cities have been difficult for me. Cars, people, noises. I like the quiet these days, so i quickly move through the cities and back into the countryside. This is not the usual me, but being overstimulated is not a strong desire these days.

I took a long break at the edge of Santo Domingo with a few other pilgrims. Two pilgrims are a mother-daughter duo from Germany, two are women from Burgos (a town not far away - they are simply walking home) and finally Melvin, a college student from France. He was my roommate last night. He chose a different hostel for tonight, so i am worried i snored. The language at the table is French and Spanish, so i write google translate and then create comedy by trying to pronounce what google says - it’s so funny because the blend of my poor pronunciation and google’s poor translation, we do some linguistic gymnastics to communicate. Again, the Camino is magic. In the end, this is an exceptional cultural immersion experience for students.

The family I mentioned earlier gave me a piece of their pizza and i was in happy land. Cheese, sausage, and mushrooms were just what i needed. 

Tonight i enjoy a community meal. Last night was my first. Everyone gathers at 630 to receive tasks. Some shop, some cook, and others clean. I missed the meeting, which doesn’t surprise Lindsay, but i asked to join the cleaning group, which surprises Lindsay (and my dad probably, too). The meal was simple pasta with sauce, as well as wine, and potato chips and Spanish peanuts. The joy at the table was delightful. Everyone pitches in to cover the cost of the meal. It was a whopping $4. Again, the table language was Spanish, so i sat silent quite a bit and could pick up the conversation through nonverbals, laughter, and with the help of HIlda (from Burgos)  and Francesco (from Italy). 

The Camino is magic. Not everyone needs to leave home and come across the Atlantic to do this, but for some who seem to carry the weight of the world, the Camino is what frees us/me from being so damn self-important. Everyday on the Camino is a book, so i will end here and pick up again tomorrow.

Day 10, August 1, 2018 (WARNING - bathroom humor, feel free to skip to day 11...mom, if you read this, just laugh...)

I had a massive need to find a toilet today while walking. It was very early and still dark. I was panicking and their was no place to hide or go outside. Everything was exposed to the trail. I began praying - out loud - that God would hear me and grant me reprieve. I found a truck stop. I sat down and while doing so read psalm 9:

“The Lord is a stronghold for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble. And those who know your name put their trust in you, for you, O Lord, have not forsaken those who seek you. Sing praises to the Lord, who sits enthroned in Zion! Tell among the peoples his deeds!” Psalm 9:9-11

The Lord knows the power of the throne and his provision is remarkable. I give thanks to God for sparing my life.... okay, that is a bit much, i realize, but i need to laugh on the Camino, also.

Walked 27 k and finished just after 130. My hip and leg hurt, so that happened. Found a great albergue. Learned the basics of the rosary and bought one for me. I will try to pray the next few days. I am interested in how it connects me to god. I trust it will.

Day 11, august 2, 2018

We traveled 36 km today. We took a bus for two km because the asphalt was too warm for our shoes. It reached 41 degrees today in Burgos (100 degrees Fahrenheit). There was no escaping the sun, and I had run out of water. The bus dropped us near the center city, and we walked to the albergue near the cathedral. The town of Burgos is significant, but i don’t need to spend too much time in the cities. They cost too much and offer too little. The little villages offer the same but cost almost nothing. 

The walk today seemed significant. Gregor taught me the rosary yesterday, so today i tried it. I downloaded an app that read the mysteries to me since i didnt want to read and walk in the dark. By the way, I left De Oca at 530 this morning well before day light. It was only 16 degrees, and the cold was delightful. Also, the trail began by way of the forest near de oca, and leaving this early allowed me to hear the earth and forest wake up, also. The sounds of dew releasing from the trees and the plants sharing “good morning” was something for the memories.

I decided to pray the rosary for a few reasons. First, it’s shallow but Martin Sheen is quite catholic, and both his appearance in The Way and his presence on The West Wing is endearing. He is worth emulating. Secondly, there is so much time alone on the way, and i have had difficulty leaning into prayer. The alone time is more Finnegan’s Wake than intention. I desire intention. 

When i saw Gregor the other day, i said to him, “I would love to walk with you sometime. If we do, would you share our faith story with me and teach me the rosary.” I knew that he and Jean (a French catholic seminarian) had spent several days speaking of Jesus and faith. He replied, “I would love to walk with you. Jean and i were hoping we would see you again.”

And so we did. I purchased a rosary from a trinket shop in Belorado. He showed me his which was blessed by Pope John Paul II and given to him at confirmation (age 16). He was patient with me as i tried to understand the logic of the rosary and the tactile sequencing of it. He spoke of the five mysteries, which confused me because there are only four special beads. I knew my rosary had to be defective, but he assured me otherwise. I learned the five mysteries correspond to the ten Hail Mary beads. I learned the Fatima prayer and have memorized the Hail Mary.

So Gregor’s teaching went to practice this morning before the rising of the sun. I put my right walking pole in the sling and held the rosary. I had no idea what to expect. I simply started, “In the name of the Father, The Son, and The Holy Spirit....I believe in God, the Father Almighty....” 28 minutes later i had prayed the rosary with 50 Hail Marys, the five Luminous Mysteries, and multiple Gloria Patris. I did it. I remembered my Grandma Small, who was, as they say, “very Catholic” and my dad, wondering if he did this or remembers this.

Then i went on in silence. By now the sun was beginning to rise in the forest even as the fog remained 

One hour later something strangled happened. Names came to mind. Lots of names. Former youth group kids, my family, friends, colleagues and former colleagues, and people i have yet to experience forgiveness and reconciliation. I was flooded with the names of people. They wouldn’t stop coming. Instead of dismissing this, i continued letting them come to me. Then i began stopping to pray a prayer for each of them. One person in particular stuck with me. Erin McDermott was a former colleague at Harbert Community Cuhurch. She is an introvert with great wisdom and playfulness. She can be quite serious, also. Recently she gave birth to Alessandra, who was born with some breathing concerns. I wasn’t sure of the baby’s health status, so i prayed for Erin, David, and their new daughter. I breathed, I cried. I begged. I wondered. I gave thanks. The intercession went on for some time before i simply released Erin, David, and Alessandra to God.

This continued for hours. I prayed, also, for the three guys joining me in a few weeks. I prayed for them, their wives (meaning for each one’s wife not that they have multiple wives), their children, and even their work and communities. I was so grateful that wives and kids were releasing their husbands and dads to take this journey. I prayed that all four of us would return home deepened in our vocations as husbands and fathers. The tears that flooded my eyes were abundant. I am convinced the intercessions were connected to my time with the rosary and especially with Mary.

Dietrich Bonhoeffer once wrote, 

“It is clear that intercessory prayer is not something general and vague, but something very concrete. It is interested in specific persons and specific difficulties and therefore specific requests. The more concrete my intercessory prayer becomes, the more promising it is. Finally, we can no longer close our eyes to the realization that the ministry of intercession demands time of every Christian, but most of all of the pastor on whom the needs of the whole community of faith rest. Intercessory prayer alone would occupy the entire time of daily meditation if it were done properly. All this proves that intercessory prayer is a gift of God’s grace for every Christian community and for every Christian.“

Mary is the great intercessor. She goes with me to Jesus. She is not in the way of him but is with me to him. The psalmist proclaims, “fear the Lord” and asking Mary to join me before CHrist is putting in right practice this fear. She teaches me in the rosary to come to God with others as she takes me with her in the resurrection. She is inviting me, as she did with Jesus in the story of the Great Wedding in Mark, to go to Jesus and ask without regard. If there was no wine, she went to him and asked for some. He, in turn, turned wine into water and filled it to the brim. This is the power of Mary - she is unflinching in her speech to Christ and she is teaching me to intercess for others. I am grateful for this Christian witness and practice. 

We arrived in Burgos. This is a big city and i have little desire to be here. Because of the distance, i am resting most of tomorrow - maybe all of tomorrow. I wrote this to a friend:  “I’m so tired and knowing I have a free day I am shutting down. I’m not meeting very many people on the Camino which I think is ok. I enjoy being alone right now. Today was powerful. In the sun. Alone. Hot. Prayerful. The next 8 days are very hot and flat. It’s the part many skip-meseta. I will be alone all day and night unless I meet new people since many are ending their time on Camino. That’s scares me a little. I’d rather be irritated and want to be alone than actually be alone.”

Day 12, august 3, 2018

I took the day off today. I planned to stay in Burgos but the noise and crowds drove me away. I planned to go a short 10 km to taradjos but instead went 12 to rabe de la calvados (sp) because the albergue didn’t open for several hours.. This turned into a restful day. The sheets on the bed were an upgrade, so I rested for three hours. Just laid there and read the hobbit. I had little energy to write but i did manage to map out the coming 7-10 days of the Camino. I continue to need to slow down.

I met two Dutch young guys who are students and two British people who are not religious but work for a meditation center in england (London). Interesting how mindfulness is simply self engagement yet was originally a gift of the church to the world for greater love and compassion.

The Dutch guys wanted to practice English so we had dinner together. These guys are not Christian either, but were open to my work. When they realized my students were their age, they were interested a bit in my young people would think about religion. This is only a sign of times to come.

Day 13, August 4, 2018

Today began the meseta. I was quite nervous to begin the part of the journey but now after 28,5 km of it, i quite enjoy it. The walking is easier mostly because it is flatter but also because i am fitter. I do wonder if i will lose weight on this journey? 

I left very early today. My albergue-mates woke up at 430 so i arose with them. I was set and ready to take my first steps at 5:01. 8 minutes later i realized that i had left my walking poles back at the albergue so i retraced my steps, retrieved my poles, and set out again. I wonder how far i would return to retrieve something? Part of the Camino is letting things go - what would i let go of if i forgot it? As it gets hotter, i am tempted to let everything go and simply walk with myself and one set of clothes... i think it is inappropriate to walk the Camino naked, so i have to keep my clothes.... i think.

The morning began with prayers once i had my bearings on where i was to go. The Camino is not always marker-friendly and leaving beyond the sunrise wasn’t helping me, but the temperature was! I began praying the rosary the other day, which takes 25-35 minutes. I use an audio app to guide me since walking and reading isn’t a great idea. I enjoy it because it recites loads of scripture and the practice of praying with Mary is a good way to develop intercession (praying for others). I finish the rosary and floods of people come to mind. I always want to stop and write them a note that says i prayed for them. I don’t do this but i love remembering people, especially when the names surprise me. Today i prayed for a pastor i barely know who had a medical procedure a few weeks back. 

I continued walking. The first km were uphill again, and i wondered if the meseta would ever become flat or not.... it does. The meseta is known as the table mountain and spans 40% of northern Spain. I climbed the table today and will walk across it the next several days. In three days, i will walk for 17km (10 miles) straight without a stop on the route. This is rare, so water and food planning will be important.