Cain and the Land of Wandering: Genesis 4

The Lord said to Cain, ‘Where is your brother Abel?’ He said, ‘I do not know; am I my brother’s keeper?’ And the Lord said, ‘What have you done? Listen; your brother’s blood is crying out to me from the ground! And now you are cursed from the ground, which has opened its mouth to receive your brother’s blood from your hand. When you till the ground, it will no longer yield to you its strength; you will be a fugitive and a wanderer on the earth.’ Cain said to the Lord, ‘My punishment is greater than I can bear! Today you have driven me away from the soil, and I shall be hidden from your face; I shall be a fugitive and a wanderer on the earth, and anyone who meets me may kill me.’ Then the Lord said to him, ‘Not so! Whoever kills Cain will suffer a sevenfold vengeance.’ And the Lord put a mark on Cain, so that no one who came upon him would kill him. Then Cain went away from the presence of the Lord, and settled in the land of Nod, east of Eden.

I never imagined Cain would be my companion in preparing to wander as a pilgrim. Yet last evening when I was sharing about my journey with a friend, he responded, “I find it interesting that Cain in Genesis 4 is settled in the land of wandering.” I hadn’t put together that the Land of Nod is the land of wandering. 

What does it mean that the first of the infamous in Scripture is a pilgrim? What does it mean that pilgrims join the story of Cain as a wanderer? What does it mean that the wandering Cain live in Nod, east of Eden, and went away from the presence of God?   

I have many fears as I prepare. I fear that after two or three days of wandering, the demons will find their home in me and I will begin to go mad. I imagine in utter irrational moments that within the first days of walking my beard will grow 12 inches, my hair will be untamed and matted, and my skin will be leathery and worn. I imagine turning into Chuck Noland (Tom Hanks) in Castaway in a few short days on the Camino. This is ridiculous, I know, but I have dreams filled with this fear. 

The way of the wanderer puts light on that which the pilgrim has long ignored. God has been asking helpful and enlightening questions for years, yet they often get dismissed with self-protective answers, "Am I my brother's keeper?" This is true for Cain as he refuses to come clean with God when asked, "‘Where is your brother Abel?’  

Henri Nouwen once said in a letter to a friend, “You know how during periods of rest sometime the demons are very active.” 

I desire to be a reflective person in daily life; I seek to be centered in this world, yet even so, I have protected myself from deeper faith and greater communion with Christ through many years of productivity, over-functioning, and hurrying about. Pilgrimage may finally orient me to stillness as I simply rise, walk, sleep, and repeat. The wandering will shed light on that which I have tried to keep hidden. The fear of slowing down as I wander is greater than I have yet to even discover, but I definitely sense its presence in me. 

How will wandering be “punishment more than I can bear?” How will I move about from being a wanderer to being a fugitive? I imagine some days will feel utterly free and beautiful. Yet other days when I find my life coming into the light or more functionally when my feet hurt, when loneliness sets in, when I get bit by creation’s pests, or am exhausted by the cycle of walking, I will feel a fugitive in my own soul. I imagine I will consider the journey punishment as much as pure delight. 

The intersection of fugitive and wanderer, fear and delight finds some good news with Cain. I rest (albeit uncomfortably) in the good news of this text. Even as Cain entered the light and was sent to the land of wandering, God was with him. There were no demons too strong to kill Cain, despite his own fears, "I shall be a fugitive and a wanderer on the earth, and anyone who meets me may kill me." God gave the good news to Cain's fear, "'Not so! Whoever kills Cain will suffer a sevenfold vengeance.' And the Lord put a mark on Cain, so that no one who came upon him would kill him.” This is an odd sort of good news, but it is good news, nonetheless.

I look forward to finding the Cain within me. But until July, I have too much to do to hear the questions of God and fully enter the light.  


NOTE

I begin sabbatical on July 1, 2018. Part of my sabbatical is pilgrimage as leadership discernment. I will say more later about why I am doing this in relationship to my role at WTS. However, between now and July 23, when I begin my first steps, I will blog weekly about my preparations, whether spiritual or physical.


I am walking the Camino in Spain. I will do the Way of Francis for 33 days. the first 23 days I will be alone, and the final ten days will be visited by three close friends. I covet your prayers and invite you to join me as a reader and friend. Welcome back to Pilgrims' Home.