The Other Side of the River - Chapter 4: Family
Chapter 4 - Family
I began reading the chapter wondering how Kolowitz would unfold "family", the chapter's title. Eric McGinnis was the only child to his mother, Ruth, and his father lived elsewhere in BEnton Harbor. Family was not nuclear, but it was also not volatile. I wondered how the relationships would receive their first introduction. Even more, as I began reading the chapter, I was reminded of the several children I have known who died before their parents - something that shapes my imagination for parenting Micah and Madeline.
The chapter paints the story of how Ruth discovered the death of her son, and the affects on the policeman (Jim Reeves) and her other family members. The chapter wraps up with the following quotation, which unsettles my being as I think about being a father; I found myself in grief for Ruth, even on this day - 15+ years later, as the loss of a child is a loss to our entire being forever:
"What really bothered me was that Ruth was about my age, and seeing what she was going through, I got to thinking about my own daughter. That's a terrible thing, to lose a child." Reeves continued, "Parents are supposed to go before their children. I went home that night and just hugged Makenna, held her in my arms." (38).
The Other Side of the River is opening questions of racial and societal divisions, but the power of the characters involved in the story also give witness to the commonality and solidarity of humanity, especially in the role and identity of parenting. The compassion and sympathy that Jim Reeves has for Ruth is powerful and stems from the nature of being called, "mom" or "dad" a title without class or race. I hate that tragedy is one of the few places divisions cease and harmony is possible. Yet Kolowitz narrates the divisions and solidarity in such a way as to discover humanity, anew.
My first experience with this chapter and its narrative was early in college when a close friend lost her brother in a car accident. He was fatally hit by an oncoming truck who was speeding through a red light. At the legal proceedings, my friend's father took to the microphone and forgave the murderer - the driver of the truck. It was his Christian vocation and identity that ruled the day. I see a similar disposition in Ruth, Eric's mother, and I look forward to the unfolding of her Christian identity in the midst of a messy, racialized, and tragic story.
I am looking forward to the Christian unfolding from Ruth in the chapters ahead, for the chapter on family gives witness to her faith in Christ. At first word of Eric's missing, Ruth calls her mom and sister, and then she took out her Bible and began reading Psalm 23, which she used with Eric during trying times. The story says, "with Bible in one hand and Eric's photo in the other, she rocked back and forth, her eyes tightly shut." My sense is that Ruth's deep identity rooted in faith will continual to unfold, albeit with moments of human difficulty and even anger - or so I imagine....
I began reading the chapter wondering how Kolowitz would unfold "family", the chapter's title. Eric McGinnis was the only child to his mother, Ruth, and his father lived elsewhere in BEnton Harbor. Family was not nuclear, but it was also not volatile. I wondered how the relationships would receive their first introduction. Even more, as I began reading the chapter, I was reminded of the several children I have known who died before their parents - something that shapes my imagination for parenting Micah and Madeline.
The chapter paints the story of how Ruth discovered the death of her son, and the affects on the policeman (Jim Reeves) and her other family members. The chapter wraps up with the following quotation, which unsettles my being as I think about being a father; I found myself in grief for Ruth, even on this day - 15+ years later, as the loss of a child is a loss to our entire being forever:
"What really bothered me was that Ruth was about my age, and seeing what she was going through, I got to thinking about my own daughter. That's a terrible thing, to lose a child." Reeves continued, "Parents are supposed to go before their children. I went home that night and just hugged Makenna, held her in my arms." (38).
The Other Side of the River is opening questions of racial and societal divisions, but the power of the characters involved in the story also give witness to the commonality and solidarity of humanity, especially in the role and identity of parenting. The compassion and sympathy that Jim Reeves has for Ruth is powerful and stems from the nature of being called, "mom" or "dad" a title without class or race. I hate that tragedy is one of the few places divisions cease and harmony is possible. Yet Kolowitz narrates the divisions and solidarity in such a way as to discover humanity, anew.
My first experience with this chapter and its narrative was early in college when a close friend lost her brother in a car accident. He was fatally hit by an oncoming truck who was speeding through a red light. At the legal proceedings, my friend's father took to the microphone and forgave the murderer - the driver of the truck. It was his Christian vocation and identity that ruled the day. I see a similar disposition in Ruth, Eric's mother, and I look forward to the unfolding of her Christian identity in the midst of a messy, racialized, and tragic story.
I am looking forward to the Christian unfolding from Ruth in the chapters ahead, for the chapter on family gives witness to her faith in Christ. At first word of Eric's missing, Ruth calls her mom and sister, and then she took out her Bible and began reading Psalm 23, which she used with Eric during trying times. The story says, "with Bible in one hand and Eric's photo in the other, she rocked back and forth, her eyes tightly shut." My sense is that Ruth's deep identity rooted in faith will continual to unfold, albeit with moments of human difficulty and even anger - or so I imagine....
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