from Freedom in Fatherhood to Reality in Reverend
It has been longer than I can admit since I last posted on this blog. Last time I posted, Madeline was non-mobile, Micah never talked back and drank from a sippy cup, and I was eager to begin a new work with Lindsay at Harbert Community Church. It was indeed a quiet but exciting time.
Today, I am in our almost settled office, fully installed as co-pastor, facing my first wedding, and preparing a sermon on the Syro-phoenician woman (Mark 7). I enjoyed the timing of the last post....
There is something about those days when I was an associate with clear responsibilities, expectations of writing, and freedom not to concern with organizational outcomes, financial goals, and the overall organization of the church. The freedom that there was someone else to look to for the final answers (and to blame for the shortcomings) is gone; it is even missed and revered. This new location as co-pastor is daunting more and more each day.
I sit here and write a sermon with hopes of the voices in my head subsiding. They don't. the voices come over the shoulders or from under the chair and remind me what small but important tasks i have forgotten to do. Those tasks I do remember sometimes go in a direction I least expected. And here I am trying to balance my successes and insecurities that come with the life of pastoral ministry.
And then there is the home down the street where Micah and Madeline rest and play. They grow during my time away from the house, and new and exciting adventures occur that I miss simply because I am here. This is not a lament, but a reminder that I must do important and substantial work during these hours, otherwise the work of fatherhood is missed for worthless labors. Indeed, the reality of reverend must match the importance of the freedom in fatherhood. One cannot overshadow the other, but I want them to match - fatherhood and reverendhood. If so, then I think being a husband has a fruitful identity, also. So I return to writing and wondering on the good news for this week, knowing that the Good News will fulfill my vocations - hopefully it will help others fulfill theirs as well.
Today, I am in our almost settled office, fully installed as co-pastor, facing my first wedding, and preparing a sermon on the Syro-phoenician woman (Mark 7). I enjoyed the timing of the last post....
There is something about those days when I was an associate with clear responsibilities, expectations of writing, and freedom not to concern with organizational outcomes, financial goals, and the overall organization of the church. The freedom that there was someone else to look to for the final answers (and to blame for the shortcomings) is gone; it is even missed and revered. This new location as co-pastor is daunting more and more each day.
I sit here and write a sermon with hopes of the voices in my head subsiding. They don't. the voices come over the shoulders or from under the chair and remind me what small but important tasks i have forgotten to do. Those tasks I do remember sometimes go in a direction I least expected. And here I am trying to balance my successes and insecurities that come with the life of pastoral ministry.
And then there is the home down the street where Micah and Madeline rest and play. They grow during my time away from the house, and new and exciting adventures occur that I miss simply because I am here. This is not a lament, but a reminder that I must do important and substantial work during these hours, otherwise the work of fatherhood is missed for worthless labors. Indeed, the reality of reverend must match the importance of the freedom in fatherhood. One cannot overshadow the other, but I want them to match - fatherhood and reverendhood. If so, then I think being a husband has a fruitful identity, also. So I return to writing and wondering on the good news for this week, knowing that the Good News will fulfill my vocations - hopefully it will help others fulfill theirs as well.
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