Pilgrims' Home

As of 11:15am, we received news that surgery is complete and Madeline will enter recovery in a few minutes.

We woke up at 5:30 this morning and Madeline came into our bedroom chatty as ever. She was a delight as she shared her questions, anxieties, fears, and hopes. She has been so chatty and self-aware. At one point she said to the nurse, "I'm really chatty because I am nervous." I thought, "This kid is further down than road than most of us adults." She crawled into our bed and snuggled in.  The doctors and nurses have been amazing today. Miranda, Michaela, Olivia, Nurse Anesthetist Taylor, and Drs. Troop and Lake have each entered the room with kindness, wisdom, and presence. God is with us, and I am grateful for the staff here that easily invokes language of faith and prayer. What a gift. As the nurses inserted the IV and prepped her for surgery, we watched GOAT videos, which were the opposite of calming but laughter filled the room. She does an excellent job making space for others even as she "holds court." There really was a spirit-presence in the roo...

"Just don't cry."  Madeline has said this to us a few times over the past weeks. We can ask her anything about her diagnosis and upcoming surgery as long as while asking questions or listening to her responses, we do not begin to cry. I was driving Madeline to Chick-Fil-A the other day, and Madeline asked if I was scared. I thought that was an unfair question considering that the stipulation of our relationship is, "Don't cry." I tried to answer with my enneagram-8 armor, but I quickly lost it and began crying while saying, "Yes, I'm scared." The photos below are reminiscent of the face she gave me as tears rolled down my face. I must admit that the intense eye-roll helped move me from crying to laughter. This kid! The truth is that we are scared and overwhelmed. As we come to the day of surgery, we are anxious and restless in our home. Last night's sleep was short as Lindsay and I laid awake at 2am. I find phone scrolling cheaply therapeut...

Google "undercut" and discover a world of fierce and wild shapes, colors and designs necessary to elevate your personal brand to the watching world.  Fashionisers  my new "go-to guide to the world of fashion trends" captured the spirit of the undercut for women,  "Y ou’ll realize that the undercut bob is a beautiful representation of women’s nature. Feminine on one side, and rule-breaking on the other, this hairstyle can adapt to any mood. Whether you want a polished look or a little something to add edginess to your attire, the undercut bob is here to deliver. This bold hairstyle is perfect for ladies who are tired of familiar, play-it-safe styles."  Feminine, rule-breaker seems an apt description not only of Madeline's new haircut but her existence. The undercut seems like the good and right decision as a fierce yet lovely young women prepares for surgery. Grateful to Rose at Wisteria Salon in Greenville, SC.  

Madeline is having surgery on January 5, and we covet your prayers over the coming weeks. A few months ago Madeline began noticing pain in her hip. We visited a doctor who referred us to The Shriner’s Hospital in Greenville. This resulted in an x-ray of her back. She was diagnosed with scoliosis (22% curve), which is significant but not debilitating. It does, however, explain the pain in her hip. She wears a brace at night (it is blue camouflage) which is uncomfortable but will stabilize the spine as she grows. Scoliosis is as much structural as neurological, and we were referred to a pediatric neurosurgeon in late October. On Tuesday, November 9, Madeline had an MRI. It was supposed to be less than an hour long, but we managed to enjoy the experience for three hours. A few days passed, and we assumed it was simply scoliosis. We met with the doctor on November 17 and received significant news from the MRI. Madeline suffers from Chiari, which is simply stated, compressed b...

"To you, O Lord, silence is praise.”  Psalm 65, The Message Isaac of Nineveh, Syrian Monk wrote, "Silence will unite you to God himself. More than all things love silence: it brings you a fruit that tongue cannot describe. In the beginning we have to force ourselves to be silent. But then there is born something that draws us to silence. May God give you an experience of this "something" that is born of silence. If only you practice this, untold light will dawn on you in consequence. After a while a certain sweetness is born in the heart of this exercise and the body is drawn almost by force to remain in silence."  (Merton, Contemplative Prayer, 30). In mid-March as schools and congregations began to close for what initially appeared to be a two-to-four week hiatus, a business leader friend of mine asked the question, “Did the seminary prepare students for this?” It’s a good question - Who is prepared for this? How do you prepare for thi...

We are offering a webinar series on generosity, and currently focused on the generosity of time - that time is a gift. I offered the following theological wondering from reading Ecclesiastes 1 and Genesis 2:3: The gift of Productive Time is found amidst the gift of Sabbath Time - The Goodness of time comes through the interplay of these times; it is here where God can meet us. The former without the latter is burnout or worse, idolatry that it is all up to me. The latter without the former is sloth and a rejection of our vocation as co-creators with the Triune God. We ended the webinar thinking about how to frame a week. I borrowed Michael Hyatt's claim of imagining a Ideal week. He defines the week in three terms (on-stage, off-stage, and back-stage).  You can find his terms here.  https://www.amyporterfield.com/transcript-how-to-design-your-ideal-week-with-michael-hyatt/  When it comes to off-stage time he says elsewhere:  "D on’t think about work;  D...

The men who were guarding Jesus began mocking and beating him.   They blindfolded him and demanded, “Prophesy! Who hit you?”   And they said many other insulting things to him. (Luke 22:63-65) I am not a prisoner in my home these days of quarantine. I am free to be with my family; to read; to connect with students, friends, and former parishioners (albeit mostly by video). I am free even if my options may be limited economically and commercially.  But it’s (Good) Friday, oddly named. Tonight and tomorrow we remember that Jesus Christ lost his freedom and became a prisoner - a prisoner of religious leaders; a prisoner of the State; a prisoner of death. It becomes Good only because we know how it ends. But if we hold this day, this night, and all of tomorrow in Christ and with Christ, we remember the prisoners, the captives, and the ones who remain in bondage. For the many captives, it may simply be Friday. The Friday captives are on my mind tonight as...

When Twitter took off this past weekend and was trending #GoHome and tagging both John MacArthur and Beth Moore, I desired playful optimism that this was a tragic-comedy where they died together and spent a reconciling 90 minutes in heaven before coming back to earth to tweet about it. in actuality, I suspected this was a spectacle of pain and misery of him against her. I was worried this would be one more stain of uncivil speech by Christians given over to the world-wide-interweb.  I admit that I was also hoping this was some Twitter-user drudging up old things MacArthur had said or an old video of a debate between the two of them. It wasn’t; it was a current video less than 12 hours old baiting MacArthur to say something outlandish about a sister-in-Christ. What is worse is that this was an event supposedly celebrating 50 years of MacArthur’s ministry as a preacher of the reconciling message of Jesus Christ. MacArthur is the man who led the radio program,  Grace to...

As a father has compassion for his children,    so the Lord has compassion for those who fear him. For God knows how we were made;    the LORD remembers that we are dust. As for mortals, their days are like grass;    they flourish like a flower of the field; for the wind passes over it, and it is gone,    and its place knows it no more. We slowly walked to the front of the sanctuary and Sue began the invitation to the imposition of ashes. Christians have been doing this since the ninth century, so this is not the first ash-rodeo of Christianity. It became complicated today, and it is unclear if human or holy hands were at work. Sue didn’t attempt the trite words often offered on Ash Wednesday but instead gave us thoughtful, theological words that recognized the gravity of sin and the promise of grace. Hers were a poetic summation of the Heidelberg invitation to die to the old and rise in the new. She was ...

I am home now. It has been one week since leaving Spain, and I thought I would be settled already. The lessons of going slow have yet to come home with me. I am far from settled in. At least the sun and moon have found their normal rhythm in me this side of the Atlantic.  No longer am I waking at 4am and making coffee. Also, I am no longer falling asleep in my dinner at 6pm. But my nighttimes are something spectacular. I dream the Camino. I dream of walking the countryside in Spain. I have no idea whether or not the places I dream are actual places in Spain, but the rolling hills, the agrarian scapes, the cafes, and the church-centered villages populate my deep sleep. One of these past few nights I awoke delirious of my surroundings. I wondered if I was in a monastery or private albergue; If I was in a top bunk or on the bottom. I couldn’t figure out what town I was in. I wasn’t scared but delighted. The idea that I was still there - could it be? I shifted and regained...