Pilgrims' Home

Summary:  We do not yet know the next steps for surgery or recovery, but we seem to be okay. Calm, content, and trusting...t here is so much more to write about the body (the actual bodies we have and the body of Christ) but that's another day. For now, we hold our calm, contentment, and trust as a gift from God and God's people who are interceding on our behalf. Thank you. Update:    We've been pastors and professors. We live in a world where questions are constant, where information is supposed to relieve anxiety, and where certainty is the upgrade to ambiguity. But then we became parents; questions are still constant, but information rarely relieves anxiety, and ambiguity is a constant state. The ability to hold ambiguity, if I remember the theologian's quote correctly, is the key to developing humility. (If you want to read an excellent book on humility, visit Daryl Van Tongeren's  Humble: the Quiet Power of an Ancient Virtue ).  These days ambiguity is our comp

We listened to Taylor Swift first thing this morning, which seems appropriate having slept very little between the hours of midnight and 3am. We quickly forgot how the first night post-Chiari is a painful step in the recovery process. When Dr. Brockmeyer came by early last night, he urgently requested the nurses to stay on top of the pain and to keep Madeline comfortable. She is feisty, which is a quality that will serve her well, but it also creates havoc when coupled with pain. Last night was restless. She is sleeping well this morning, and it appears her pain is under control.   Watching children suffer is misery. The journey of parenting is an incredible act of discipleship, similar to marriage and singleness. Each life era has its own suffering. How we navigate it is a special kind of formation. We don't figure this out by reading books or sitting in a classroom but through living and wondering and praying. I'm not sure what it is like for you, but I keep whispering "

 READER WARNING: The textual authority of hope will not be Scripture in this post. Instead hope comes from a contemporary Psalmist, Taylor Swift. The pre-op nurse had difficulty inserting the IV, so Madeline had the painful experience but was assured they would try again only once she was asleep. The nurse was kind and gentle and lamented the mishap (it happens often). Oddly, Madeline has pierced her own ears (several times) but the idea of IV needles is a real worry.  She tries not to worry, and her doctor is a partner in the practice. He often says, "I'll do my job; you do yours. What's my job again?" Madeline says, "You do all the worry. I just keep breathing." [ Breathe is a Swift song about loss and friendship].  When the anesthesiologist entered the room, Madeline's worry increased. We all began to cry. Dr. Wood could sense the energy and asked Madeline if she wanted some music for the journey from pre-op to the OR. Taylor Swift immediately emanat

And how blessed all those in whom you live, whose lives become roads you travel; They wind through lonesome valleys, come upon brooks,  discover cool springs and pools brimming with rain! God-traveled, these roads curve up the mountain, and at the last turn—Zion! God in full view!  (Psalm 84:5-7, The Message) We turned left out of the driveway and descended more than 4000 feet over just a few miles. The sun was befriending the mountains and small streams of snowmelt followed us down. Madeline didn't want to leave; I don't think we did either. Like Peter at the transfiguration, "Lord, it is good for us to be here. If you wish, I will put up three shelters—one for you, one for Moses and one for Elijah.” I liked it better at the chalet; there were rooms there, one for us; one for Madeline; and one for our hosts. I get staying on the mountain. Peter was right - it is good to be here.  We drove the switchbacks and began the drive back to Salt Lake City. Madeline asked to reflec

I answered the phone this morning, and a student promptly asked, "How is Madeline? We have been praying for her." This is a standing call with the student. The call is to support the student, but today the student was supporting me. This is what I love about education; we have an academic goal but we encounter our humanity along the way.  I could feel the weight of the week come over my shoulders and trickle through my arms with her question. I had side-stepped thinking about Madeline's surgery for the first hours of the day, but my student helpfully reminded me of what is ahead. She was curious and concerned. I was grateful and a touch afraid. We leave this Friday (January 10). My dad (Jim) will travel from Omaha to Greenville to be with Micah and Maggie. He is a renaissance man - able to cook, clean, and drive. I told him that parenting teenagers is largely reduced to those skills. I did mention, however, that just about the point he might feel like a laborer or Uber-dr