Upset Three Ways
The following is a letter I drafted for our church yet never formally sent. I post this here as a public offering that is intended for our church. This was originally drafted in mid-February.
Dear Harbert Community Church,
I write to you in regards to our recent resignation. Following Sunday morning worship and the congregational conversation, I returned home saddened that we spent more time together trying to understand and to justify the decision than sharing our hearts with you and you with us. I think our inability to clearly communicate was merely out of the newness of the news - not only to you but also to us (odd as it may sound).
I returned home unsettled by the conversation and tone. I was primarily unsettled because I didn't find a clarity in speech from my own mouth that was satisfactory. I was also unable to hear your words in a manner of gratitude. My guess is that what I said about anxiety doing odd things was apparent in our conversation already. I have come to recognize that a common feeling about our resignation is characterized by the word "upset" in its many forms and tones.
Some are upset because of our love for one another. The bond between pastors and congregations is deeply ambiguous, yet the ambiguity is overcome through the common bond of love that exists between us through Christ and the Spirit. When this bond appears broken, we are upset in the manner of sadness, for who wants to see loved ones move away?
Others are upset because the announcement signifies transition, which many of us are just not wired to enjoy. We become, in this way, upset in a literal understanding. What was settled is no longer, and we get anxious, worried, or otherwise.
Others are upset in the way of anger. This anger may be at the direction of the church, confusion over process and communication, or simply personally being upset and angered by something Lindsay and I did over the last years. Being upset in anger, though deeply painful, happens in churches. Yet the good news is that in Christ, we can confess our sin, extend forgiveness, and find a new way of life through the resurrection. If any of you are angered and upset, we invite you to come to us, name the problem, and allow both forgiveness and reconciliation to occur. We desire to leave the church with a deeper spirit of peace than when we arrived.
In the end, know that Lindsay and I are equally upset, in the manner of the first. Departing is an upsetting reality, and I have already shed tears over the transition, yet never once have I felt unclear about the direction. As many of you have affirmed, this move to Holland is good and right and wise, yet our departure from church leaves us all wanting something different. We have invested ourselves here, and I am saddened that this will no longer be home and that I will no longer be your pastor.
We love you, Harbert Community Church, and we trust that as God brought us hear to bless and be blessed, God will do likewise with us in the next chapters of life. Thank you for loving our family and allowing us to love you. May the past, the present, and the future of this transition be in Christ's name and to God's glory.
Peace to you,
kjas
Dear Harbert Community Church,
I write to you in regards to our recent resignation. Following Sunday morning worship and the congregational conversation, I returned home saddened that we spent more time together trying to understand and to justify the decision than sharing our hearts with you and you with us. I think our inability to clearly communicate was merely out of the newness of the news - not only to you but also to us (odd as it may sound).
I returned home unsettled by the conversation and tone. I was primarily unsettled because I didn't find a clarity in speech from my own mouth that was satisfactory. I was also unable to hear your words in a manner of gratitude. My guess is that what I said about anxiety doing odd things was apparent in our conversation already. I have come to recognize that a common feeling about our resignation is characterized by the word "upset" in its many forms and tones.
Some are upset because of our love for one another. The bond between pastors and congregations is deeply ambiguous, yet the ambiguity is overcome through the common bond of love that exists between us through Christ and the Spirit. When this bond appears broken, we are upset in the manner of sadness, for who wants to see loved ones move away?
Others are upset because the announcement signifies transition, which many of us are just not wired to enjoy. We become, in this way, upset in a literal understanding. What was settled is no longer, and we get anxious, worried, or otherwise.
Others are upset in the way of anger. This anger may be at the direction of the church, confusion over process and communication, or simply personally being upset and angered by something Lindsay and I did over the last years. Being upset in anger, though deeply painful, happens in churches. Yet the good news is that in Christ, we can confess our sin, extend forgiveness, and find a new way of life through the resurrection. If any of you are angered and upset, we invite you to come to us, name the problem, and allow both forgiveness and reconciliation to occur. We desire to leave the church with a deeper spirit of peace than when we arrived.
In the end, know that Lindsay and I are equally upset, in the manner of the first. Departing is an upsetting reality, and I have already shed tears over the transition, yet never once have I felt unclear about the direction. As many of you have affirmed, this move to Holland is good and right and wise, yet our departure from church leaves us all wanting something different. We have invested ourselves here, and I am saddened that this will no longer be home and that I will no longer be your pastor.
We love you, Harbert Community Church, and we trust that as God brought us hear to bless and be blessed, God will do likewise with us in the next chapters of life. Thank you for loving our family and allowing us to love you. May the past, the present, and the future of this transition be in Christ's name and to God's glory.
Peace to you,
kjas
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