Pilgrims' Home

The Pilgrim’s Exercises Paulo Cohelo, The Pilgrimage The Seed Exercise Kneel on the ground, then seat yourself on your heels and bend forward so that your head touches your knees. Stretch your arms behind you. You are now in a fetal position. Relax, releasing all of your tensions. Breathe calmly and deeply. Little by little you will perceive you are a little seed, cradled in the comfort of the earth. Everything around you is warm and delicious. You are in a deep, restful sleep. Suddenly, a finger moves. The shoot no longer wants to be a seed; it wants to grow. Slowly you begin to move your arms, and then your body will begin to rise, straightening up until you are seated on your heels. Now you begin to lift your body up and slowly, slowly you become erect, still kneeling on the ground. The moment has come to break completely through the earth. You begin to rise slowly, placing your foot on the ground, then the other, fighting against the disequilibrium just as a sh...

Returning to ECC artwork by Julie Courtney Excelsior, MN We  were reflecting on Ida B. Wells and Sojourner Truth when the email came through acknowledging the activation of my ordination in the Evangelical Covenant Church. I was attending a conference centered on African American Religious autobiographies at the time. Somewhere between a discussion of Sojourner Truth’s words to Douglass, “Is God Dead?” and the autonomous power of Ida B. Wells defending Douglass’ white wife, I saw the email notification. Someone invited the rest of us to hear   Ida B Wells’ words, “Because white people forget Christianity and good breeding when dealing with those who belong to the darker races is no justification for this dark race to do the same. I cannot see it any other way than that the truly Christian, well-bred person is always so, no matter with whom they come in contact.” The decision to activate my Covenant ordination and suspend my ordination in the Reformed Church in American is not...

               We have a spreadsheet for this season. The final column is for the dog. When I first made the spreadsheet, she wasn’t included. Then the plans were made to pack, travel, and move. Everything made sense until we asked about the dog’s whereabouts. I admit it is nice for the confusion to be about a dog. It’s been a  dogged  two years, yet our family is intact; our home is selling; the children are registered for schools; I get to keep my job; and Lindsay has an incredible opportunity on the horizon. But the real news is some we have been waiting for since February. Madeline had her MRI and CAT scan early in the morning last Thursday. A few hours later the results were available in MyChart. Lindsay called to read it to me. She hadn’t yet read it herself, so we were bracing to hear the words for the first time together. I was so anxious and even as positive words laced the opening lines, I was waiting for the “but.” The re...

Running - What doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger? I went for a run on Thursday morning at the end of April. I was in West Michigan for a consulting project and enjoying a later start to the day. I left my in-laws house to run a route I enjoyed many years ago. Lindsay's uncle has a home on my West Michigan running route, and I decided to stop to say hello while running. I simply wanted to offer a hug and enjoy some connection. It was a delightful pitstop. I said, "I miss you." He said, "I miss you, too. Come home." His demeanor was energizing and directness a bit unraveling. His words fell distinctly on my ears. I continued running and his words wouldn’t leave me. I kept running and wondering if/how I should tell Lindsay about the encounter. Siri called Lindsay while I continued running. I wasn't going too fast (I couldn't if I tried according to my son). I asked Lindsay, "What if I said when we leave for Bethany we will not be returning to South ...

  The Good News for Madeline! We have been home for a few weeks, and I have considered writing an update several times. The observed reality is that Madeline is doing exceptionally well. She wears "Billy" everyday (Billy is the name she gave to her neck brace). They have become connected (I am not sure they have reached the level of friends, but she is not fighting against it, so we count this as pure blessing).  She restarted school last week (from home) and is investing time each day in her learning. She seems focused and diligent. She seems to have more energy on a daily basis than before. Her symptoms seem significantly less than they were before the surgery. She is doing well, and we are counting this as blessing.  In some ways the lack of detail is a good sign. She is experiencing healing and moving full steam with adolescent sass.... Our current focus is moving to the summer when she can send Billy elsewhere, enjoy the summer at Bethany Beach, and enter the fall re...

Summary:  We do not yet know the next steps for surgery or recovery, but we seem to be okay. Calm, content, and trusting...t here is so much more to write about the body (the actual bodies we have and the body of Christ) but that's another day. For now, we hold our calm, contentment, and trust as a gift from God and God's people who are interceding on our behalf. Thank you. Update:    We've been pastors and professors. We live in a world where questions are constant, where information is supposed to relieve anxiety, and where certainty is the upgrade to ambiguity. But then we became parents; questions are still constant, but information rarely relieves anxiety, and ambiguity is a constant state. The ability to hold ambiguity, if I remember the theologian's quote correctly, is the key to developing humility. (If you want to read an excellent book on humility, visit Daryl Van Tongeren's  Humble: the Quiet Power of an Ancient Virtue ).  These days ambiguity is our ...

We listened to Taylor Swift first thing this morning, which seems appropriate having slept very little between the hours of midnight and 3am. We quickly forgot how the first night post-Chiari is a painful step in the recovery process. When Dr. Brockmeyer came by early last night, he urgently requested the nurses to stay on top of the pain and to keep Madeline comfortable. She is feisty, which is a quality that will serve her well, but it also creates havoc when coupled with pain. Last night was restless. She is sleeping well this morning, and it appears her pain is under control.   Watching children suffer is misery. The journey of parenting is an incredible act of discipleship, similar to marriage and singleness. Each life era has its own suffering. How we navigate it is a special kind of formation. We don't figure this out by reading books or sitting in a classroom but through living and wondering and praying. I'm not sure what it is like for you, but I keep whispering "...

 READER WARNING: The textual authority of hope will not be Scripture in this post. Instead hope comes from a contemporary Psalmist, Taylor Swift. The pre-op nurse had difficulty inserting the IV, so Madeline had the painful experience but was assured they would try again only once she was asleep. The nurse was kind and gentle and lamented the mishap (it happens often). Oddly, Madeline has pierced her own ears (several times) but the idea of IV needles is a real worry.  She tries not to worry, and her doctor is a partner in the practice. He often says, "I'll do my job; you do yours. What's my job again?" Madeline says, "You do all the worry. I just keep breathing." [ Breathe is a Swift song about loss and friendship].  When the anesthesiologist entered the room, Madeline's worry increased. We all began to cry. Dr. Wood could sense the energy and asked Madeline if she wanted some music for the journey from pre-op to the OR. Taylor Swift immediately emanat...

And how blessed all those in whom you live, whose lives become roads you travel; They wind through lonesome valleys, come upon brooks,  discover cool springs and pools brimming with rain! God-traveled, these roads curve up the mountain, and at the last turn—Zion! God in full view!  (Psalm 84:5-7, The Message) We turned left out of the driveway and descended more than 4000 feet over just a few miles. The sun was befriending the mountains and small streams of snowmelt followed us down. Madeline didn't want to leave; I don't think we did either. Like Peter at the transfiguration, "Lord, it is good for us to be here. If you wish, I will put up three shelters—one for you, one for Moses and one for Elijah.” I liked it better at the chalet; there were rooms there, one for us; one for Madeline; and one for our hosts. I get staying on the mountain. Peter was right - it is good to be here.  We drove the switchbacks and began the drive back to Salt Lake City. Madeline asked to ...

I answered the phone this morning, and a student promptly asked, "How is Madeline? We have been praying for her." This is a standing call with the student. The call is to support the student, but today the student was supporting me. This is what I love about education; we have an academic goal but we encounter our humanity along the way.  I could feel the weight of the week come over my shoulders and trickle through my arms with her question. I had side-stepped thinking about Madeline's surgery for the first hours of the day, but my student helpfully reminded me of what is ahead. She was curious and concerned. I was grateful and a touch afraid. We leave this Friday (January 10). My dad (Jim) will travel from Omaha to Greenville to be with Micah and Maggie. He is a renaissance man - able to cook, clean, and drive. I told him that parenting teenagers is largely reduced to those skills. I did mention, however, that just about the point he might feel like a laborer or Uber-dr...