Pilgrims' Home

January 5, 2021, was the first day of a very long road. To be honest, it is the most memorable day of a road that began several months before as we left the familiarity of Holland, Michigan, and moved to South Carolina.   Madeline received her first of three brain surgeries at Greenville’s children’s hospital on that day. What was a relatively minor brain surgery (if there is ever anything minor related to the brain), turned into a nine day stay with a feeding tube, and a young girl was now worse off than when she first arrived. The pain of the first surgery turned into a second a few months later. The second was better than the first, but headaches, stomach aches, and intense pain clouded any signs of success.    One year ago, today (February 13, 2023), Madeline entered the incredible children’s hospital in Salt Lake City, Utah. We walked the unfamiliar territory of the new hospital in a new city with fear and trepidation. The neurosurgeon is one of the best in the world...

The Pilgrim’s Exercises Paulo Cohelo, The Pilgrimage The Seed Exercise Kneel on the ground, then seat yourself on your heels and bend forward so that your head touches your knees. Stretch your arms behind you. You are now in a fetal position. Relax, releasing all of your tensions. Breathe calmly and deeply. Little by little you will perceive you are a little seed, cradled in the comfort of the earth. Everything around you is warm and delicious. You are in a deep, restful sleep. Suddenly, a finger moves. The shoot no longer wants to be a seed; it wants to grow. Slowly you begin to move your arms, and then your body will begin to rise, straightening up until you are seated on your heels. Now you begin to lift your body up and slowly, slowly you become erect, still kneeling on the ground. The moment has come to break completely through the earth. You begin to rise slowly, placing your foot on the ground, then the other, fighting against the disequilibrium just as a sh...

Returning to ECC artwork by Julie Courtney Excelsior, MN We  were reflecting on Ida B. Wells and Sojourner Truth when the email came through acknowledging the activation of my ordination in the Evangelical Covenant Church. I was attending a conference centered on African American Religious autobiographies at the time. Somewhere between a discussion of Sojourner Truth’s words to Douglass, “Is God Dead?” and the autonomous power of Ida B. Wells defending Douglass’ white wife, I saw the email notification. Someone invited the rest of us to hear   Ida B Wells’ words, “Because white people forget Christianity and good breeding when dealing with those who belong to the darker races is no justification for this dark race to do the same. I cannot see it any other way than that the truly Christian, well-bred person is always so, no matter with whom they come in contact.” The decision to activate my Covenant ordination and suspend my ordination in the Reformed Church in American is not...

               We have a spreadsheet for this season. The final column is for the dog. When I first made the spreadsheet, she wasn’t included. Then the plans were made to pack, travel, and move. Everything made sense until we asked about the dog’s whereabouts. I admit it is nice for the confusion to be about a dog. It’s been a  dogged  two years, yet our family is intact; our home is selling; the children are registered for schools; I get to keep my job; and Lindsay has an incredible opportunity on the horizon. But the real news is some we have been waiting for since February. Madeline had her MRI and CAT scan early in the morning last Thursday. A few hours later the results were available in MyChart. Lindsay called to read it to me. She hadn’t yet read it herself, so we were bracing to hear the words for the first time together. I was so anxious and even as positive words laced the opening lines, I was waiting for the “but.” The re...

Running - What doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger? I went for a run on Thursday morning at the end of April. I was in West Michigan for a consulting project and enjoying a later start to the day. I left my in-laws house to run a route I enjoyed many years ago. Lindsay's uncle has a home on my West Michigan running route, and I decided to stop to say hello while running. I simply wanted to offer a hug and enjoy some connection. It was a delightful pitstop. I said, "I miss you." He said, "I miss you, too. Come home." His demeanor was energizing and directness a bit unraveling. His words fell distinctly on my ears. I continued running and his words wouldn’t leave me. I kept running and wondering if/how I should tell Lindsay about the encounter. Siri called Lindsay while I continued running. I wasn't going too fast (I couldn't if I tried according to my son). I asked Lindsay, "What if I said when we leave for Bethany we will not be returning to South ...

  The Good News for Madeline! We have been home for a few weeks, and I have considered writing an update several times. The observed reality is that Madeline is doing exceptionally well. She wears "Billy" everyday (Billy is the name she gave to her neck brace). They have become connected (I am not sure they have reached the level of friends, but she is not fighting against it, so we count this as pure blessing).  She restarted school last week (from home) and is investing time each day in her learning. She seems focused and diligent. She seems to have more energy on a daily basis than before. Her symptoms seem significantly less than they were before the surgery. She is doing well, and we are counting this as blessing.  In some ways the lack of detail is a good sign. She is experiencing healing and moving full steam with adolescent sass.... Our current focus is moving to the summer when she can send Billy elsewhere, enjoy the summer at Bethany Beach, and enter the fall re...

Summary:  We do not yet know the next steps for surgery or recovery, but we seem to be okay. Calm, content, and trusting...t here is so much more to write about the body (the actual bodies we have and the body of Christ) but that's another day. For now, we hold our calm, contentment, and trust as a gift from God and God's people who are interceding on our behalf. Thank you. Update:    We've been pastors and professors. We live in a world where questions are constant, where information is supposed to relieve anxiety, and where certainty is the upgrade to ambiguity. But then we became parents; questions are still constant, but information rarely relieves anxiety, and ambiguity is a constant state. The ability to hold ambiguity, if I remember the theologian's quote correctly, is the key to developing humility. (If you want to read an excellent book on humility, visit Daryl Van Tongeren's  Humble: the Quiet Power of an Ancient Virtue ).  These days ambiguity is our ...